


Someone Gladly Bears The Pain

by purplecyphers



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Asexual Character, Beards (Relationships), Episode: s12e06 Skipper, F/M, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 12, Season/Series 12 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 07:05:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13118583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplecyphers/pseuds/purplecyphers
Summary: Rimmer might not have been able to stay in a universe where Lister was Captain of Red Dwarf, but there was a Rimmer who could, and for a very good reason too.





	Someone Gladly Bears The Pain

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY CHRISTMAS DWARFERS! 
> 
> This came to mind right after the episode aired, but it took me awhile to be happy with it, on top of working on my other RD story. Since I'm having a bit of a snag there, I thought I'd fix this up to put out for the holiday. 
> 
> Have a great holiday and new year everyone!

_“I can't live here.”_

_“On Earth?”_

_“In this Universe. I can't live in a reality where you're more successful than me.”_

_“You're home, on Earth. You're alive. You've got everything you ever wanted.”_

_“It's not worth it; the pain of it would be too much.”_ The alternate Rimmer held up the remote and pressed the button again, going out like a neutron star and disappearing before Captain Lister’s eyes. The Scouser took another drag from his cigar as his Arnold Rimmer walked out of the lavatory and looked around.

“I thought I heard voices in here,” he walked up to Lister, confusion etched in every line of his face.

“Yeah, had another version of you, must have taken your place or something while he was here. I gotta admit, I talked to him about your life to see if he’d really stay or not, but I'm glad he didn’t,” Liter grinned, wrapping an arm around Rimmer's waist and pulling him close. “It took me long enough to convince you to even consider dating me, I would hate to have to do that all over again.”

Rimmer rolled his eyes, arms twisting around Lister. “I was quite the smeghead before you found that problem with the drive plate.”

“And before I decided to not get hung up on Krissy. You know, he even bought my story about being married to a stripper named Crystal,” Lister laughed.

Rimmer chuckled. “Well, if he’s still as repressed as I was, that’s not too unrealistic. Did you have to use her name though? And a stripper, you know how she feels about that.”

“Sorry, but thinking of that, he probably saw the logs about being married,” Lister took a drag of his cigar thoughtfully.

“And the four boys,” Rimmer pointed out, his sons being very important to him.

“But I bet he didn’t realise that you’re not exclusively hers,” the Scouser grinned.

“Or that it was her idea to please our parents while also being free to do as we would.”

“Shame he didn’t stay long enough to find all that out.”

“Yes, shame indeed.” Rimmer locked the room and went back over to Lister, an arm wrapping around his waist. “I suppose you’re stuck with me then.”

Lister twisted his arm around Rimmer’s middle and put down the cigar. “Just as much as you’re stuck with me. You, me, Crystal, and the boys.”

“We make an oddball family, don’t we?”

“Two randy blokes, an asexual bombshell, and their kids” Lister chuckled.

“Speaking of randy,” Rimmer grinned, eyebrows waggling.

“Hey, that’s why I called you in the first place!” Lister didn’t have to do more than lean his head, his lover was already closing the space and kissing him.


End file.
